Saturday, June 25, 2005

 

drive 26

drive 26

tried to medicate with music
but my thoughts wouldn't center...
...thoughts wouldn't center
that Cheshire grin won't work tonight
not this time
no... not this time
crazy I think of you
at times like this
when my mortal coil
...is at its end.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

 

Today




Today
I'm so far away
From everything.
I reach to grasp
But it falls through my fingers
Like mercury
I see the letters dance about the page,
But no words form.
I'm floating farther out
Than I've ever been
And things are getting cloudy.
Resolutions fade
Transform to grey
And I can't change my course.
I should know the way
But I can't divine a clear thought.
Breathing is becoming
A chore…



a chore,

I have to concentrate.
All the while,
Every breath brings me
Closer to my
Last.
- That last breath….
What will it taste like?
That last breath -
I am numb, senses dulled.
As if my nerves have been
Filed to the bone.
I'm so far away
From everything.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

 

Perfection



I don't believe in perfection
Perfection is not truth
The flaws
. . the cracks
. the fault
. . . the warp
That is imperfect truth.
And that is what I believe in.

 

Dementia



stranded here in this paisley dementia
stuck like a sailboat in calm winds...
been by the jailhouse - they just can't touch me
... just can't touch me
no time for salient lullabyes
no need for a stinging reply
this is the last goodbye

the best way to get even is to forget
another day, another pet
glad to see you didn't trip over my tail
on the way out the door
guess those high heels came up for something useful
after
all.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

 

Scars

Scars.
Does it really matter if they
Are self-inflicted, or
Delivered by another?

They are still there...
Lingering...
Forever,
Adorning your body like a
Patchwork quilt.

Don't hide behind them,
But wear them proudly -
Your eternal badge.
A body covered in stains
Like a flesh canvas.

A soul covered in memories
Like shifting sand
Across the Sahara.

Run your fingers deliberately
Over them...
Is its story as you
Remembered it?
Or has it faded?
The wound now closed & healed?

Or is it open and gaping?
Growing and festering daily?
Can it be healed?
Turned into another scar?
A scratch on the surface,
But with deep concealed roots.

Hidden, but felt
Delivered and dealt.
Well, I once had a lover
Now I can kiss no other.
These scars.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

 

Conversations

An unusual hesitation in the conversation
Allows my mind time to reflect.
The spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions and feelings.
A familiar intercourse.
Our colloquial discourse.
The direction of which, belies any pattern.

Pure chaos theory here.
A quick dose of her voice
To calm the nerves
Provide lucidity in the tempest of my consciousness.
She is manifest in thought, perception, emotion
Strong of will, yet full of imagination.
Soft of breath, though full of temptation.
I can feel her energy emit to me

The intensity
Even in a smile, though not seen,
Yet perceived, behind a gossamer veil
I can sense a thousand sunsets
Sweep sweetly over a scented sky.
Just from the parting of candied lips.
The pause in our conversation has now ended

Another concept to be presented
If I could stay for eternity I would
And that will be my greatest challenge

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