Tuesday, December 20, 2005

 

The Exorcism: Part I




I'm a fake.
I'm self destructive.
I am an acquired taste.
I'm random energy.
I'm intense.
I'm jaded.
I'm restless.
So very restless.
I'm a ghost.
That hasn't arrived.
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'm a blur.
I'm a pillar of the community.
I'm fucked up.
I lust.
I'm wearing a mask.
But so are you.
I'm bleeding.
Lay your hands.
And lesions over me.
I will stab you.
For twenty dollars.
My shots are clean.
My shots are final.
I have eyes of amber.
I betray.
I plead for mercy.
I want your blood.
On my hands.
On my lips.
I'm nothing's everything.
I love.
Deeply.
I miss you.
I laugh.
When I cry.
I'm charmed.
I pick up pieces.
Of ancient queens.
I'm innocent.
Shhhhhhh.
I'm a picture of ugly stories.
I' m a sinner.
And I'm a clown.
I wrote a song.
That I already forgot.
I desire.
Too much.
I need.
A gypsy soul.
I'm smiling.
I want to see you.
I will regret this.
I believe.
In Everything (Nothing).
I want my tombstone to read. . .
"You."
I'm drunk again.
I'm sorry.
Self-realization is truth.
*steps away from the mirror*

Comments:
Wow! That really touched a few nerves... Both on a personal level and also non-personal. I know many that fit at least some of that.

It's awesome. Mmmm... The mind of Jaxe.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, Jaxe! XOXO
 
You're not fake. You're the realest person I know. Let it all out, babe.

*hugging and not letting go*
 
dangerously real. thanks for sharing. ho ho ho jaxe x0x0
 
Completely vulnerable and absolutely beautiful, Jaxe. I think you should be my back-up boyfriend.
 
Where have you gone again my sweet?
Everybody wants to know
Where have you gone again my sweet?
Everybody wants to know
Where you gone?

I'm just a ghost, I'm on your street
Waitin', when you comin' home?
I'm just a ghost, i'm on your street
Waitin', when you comin' home?
Gone so long
Where you gone?

On a long slow goodbye?
On a long slow goodbye...

In every voice, i hear you speak
Waitin' by the telephone
I close my eyes, i just can't sleep
Roll & tumble all night long
All night long
Where you gone?

On a long slow goodbye?
On a long slow goodbye...
On a long slow goodbye?
On a long slow goodbye...

I close my eyes, i just can't sleep
Where have you gone again my sweet?

On a long slow goodbye?
On a long slow goodbye...
On a long slow goodbye?
On a long slow goodbye...

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye


~qotsa

Saying farewell is never easy & that was beautifully raw, Jaxe.
Best of luck exorcising your demons...
*hands you a shot of Goldschlager*
Burn 'em out! ;)
 
I'm kind of speechless, even after reading this many times.
Regret nothing.
 
Hmmm that piece was like me looking myself in the mirror. It is why there are certain nectars I have to avoid. I end up stripping away the skin I show everyone and looking at the raw me. Not a very pretty sight and its truly exemplified when I'm enebriated.

I do hope to see an HNT Jaxe... You know I can't ever get enough of your body, I mean your mind...

Yeah, I'll stop now...

Happy Holidays Rockstar!!
 
Shhhhhhh.
I'm a picture of ugly stories.

I want my tombstone to read. . .
"You."


Gripping. Evocative. Sigh.

You sad again, hon? Cheer up. Time to have a blast this holiday season. Hee. *big hug*
 
WOW! Touching post!

Merry Christmas Jaxe!
 
Got music to that one? I just stopped over to wish you a happy shitty little Christmas, I'm sure you can pull one of those out this year!
Seriously cool piece, it cries to be sung!
 
complete and utter poetry.
 
wow, this is great!!!!
definitely one of my favorites. i love the intensity. the flow. the mixture of feelings/emotions.
beautiful jaxe, beautiful!!

hope you're enjoying the holidays!
 
Jenn: Hey bella *hug* Hope you are well, your avatar photo ROCKS! Also, hope your new hours are working out.

elle: I'm realest? really? thanks though, and right back at you Scand-Elle-ous.

boo: Hi boo! ho ho ho and may everyone's exorcism be merry.

QoA: backup? Hmmm, sure, put me on the list. Yes, it was very vulnerable, but that's what exorcism's are about... and circumcisms for that matter.

mel: I know you are feeling the same things ;-)

Shaken N Stirred: HA! Thanks for the support in that juxtaposed way ;-)

Lil Bit: beautiful!!! And thanks for the support, burn em out, HELL YES I BURNED THEM OUT! ;-D

Mrs. LA Hooker: Thank you, and always a business doing pleasure with you.

DeeM: Oh I regret some things. But thing is you can't go back and change them, just adapt and rearrange ;-) thanks D.

Blondie: I saw 'mirrors' 'nectar' and 'stripping' and I self-combusted... ;-) thanks for the post, and yes I'll post some more flesh pics... its who I am I'm learning.. good or bad.

Soulless: *Bigger Hug* so cool when old friends blow by and leave their foot prints. how are yOU!!!! ;-D

Klaire: Hahaha... so do I. Tell me more....

Jill: Hi girl! Thank you and Merry Christmas to you.

Ticharu: I should let you sing it, you'd reek havoc on those lyrics with your wails and evocative falsettos ;-) How are you kind sir!?

Stephanie: Christmas was great. hope you are well!

Transience: Poetry? no. More like reality ;-)

Lorena: *hugs* happy holidays and wishes to you as well, bella! ;-) thank you for the kind words.
 
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